خيبر خيبر يا يهود ..جيش محمد سوف يعود

Ok Israelians, Well America
You insist on killing us, you insist on destroying our lives.
That's all right.
Yes, you're stronger now and capable on doing that.
But, on day and I promise you that day is coming sooner or later.
On that day; you'll find no place to hide, no where to run.
And we'll pay you back every harm you caused or probably more.
On that day, please don't ask for mercy as we're out of.

و لسوف يعطيك ربك فترضى

لطالما واجهتني الصعوبات في هذه الحياة , و لطالما تمكلني الحزن و استولى علي اليأس
إلا انني في كل مرة ألتفت شمالاً و يميناً فلا ارى أمامي الا قوله تعالى (و لسوف يعطيك ربك فترضى) أبقى أرددها حتى أتيقن أن الفرج قادم و أن لا هم دائم .


دع الأيام تفعـل مـا تشـاء.....وطب نفساً إذا حكم القضاء
ولا تجزع لحادثـه الليالـي.....فما لحوادث الدنيا من بقـاء
وكن رجلاً عن الأهوال جلداً.....وشيمتك السماحة والوفـاء
وأن كثرت عيوبك في البرايا.........وسرك يكـون لهـا غطـاء
تستر بالسخاء فكـل عيـبٍ.......يغطيه كمـا قيـل السخـاء
ولا ترى للأعادي قـط ذلاً........فإن شماتـه الأعـدا بـلاء
ولا ترج السماحة من بخيل.....فما في النار للظمـآن مـاء
ورزقك ليس ينقصه التأنـي.....وليس يزيد في الرزق العناء
ولا حزن يدوم ولا سـرور......ولا بؤس عليك ولا رخـاء
إذا ما كنت ذا قلـب قنـوعٍ.....فأنت ومالك الدنيـا سـواء
ومن نزلت بساحته المنايـا.......فلا أرض تقيـه ولا سمـاء
وأرض الله واسعـة ولكـن.....إذا نزل القضا ضاق الفضاء
دع الأيام تغدر كـل حيـن......فما يغني عن الموت الدواء

الامام الشافعي

Haj

Ok, I'm now a Haji
I can't belive myself, and I really don't know what to write; I'm out of words.
Simply; it was great, I've never been so happy and comfortable like this.
I put everything behind my back, ignored everything and thought only of Allah and my religion.

It started from Medina, where the prophet's mosque and grave are.
Medina is so nice and beutiful and to be honest; in Medina I saw Sarah; I've never imagined myself falling in love and of course not while going for Haj, but it did happen.

She looks like an angle or as someone said; just like the Saint Mary.
I could see the whole shine of Iman in her face, which I didn't dare to concentrate into it.








المسجد النبوي الشريف

ومن الاماكن الاخرى في المدينة

البقيع و هي مقبرة قرب المسجد النبوي و فيها قبور الأئمة و الصحابة و زوجات الرسول رضوان الله عليهم جميعاً


جبل أحد و هو موضع معركة أحد


قبر الحمزة سيد الشهداء


مسجد ذي القبلتين و فيه تم تحويل القبلة من المسجد الاقصى الى المسجد الحرام



مسجد قباء (أول مسجد أسس على التقوى)

ومن ثم قمنا بالاحرام من مسجد الشجرة و هو ميقات اهل المدينة



كل شيء مختلف في مكة

في مكة تحس بطمأنينة و تتفجر الأشواق و تنهمر الدموع
ولا يوجد اجمل و لا ابهى و لا اروع من منظر الكعبة المشرفة
و والله إن النظر اليها ليشفي الصدور و يريح النفوس و يزيل الأحقاد
و ما شعرت إلا بصغر حجمي و قلة حيلتي امام عظمة الخالق جل و علا





و بعد ذلك بدأت الشعائر

8th of Thu Al-Hija الثامن من ذي الحجة

We moved to The mountin of Arafat
We spent a night there in tents to be ready for the the Holly Arafa Day 9th of Thu Al-Hijja



منظر الشروق في عرفة يبعث الامل في النفوس





في عرفة تسكب العبرات و تنهمر و يجتهد المسلمون بالدعاء طالبين عفو الله و مغفرته بين صلاة الظهر و صلاة المغرب, هنالك انهمرت دموعي و استغفرت ربي و سألته التوبه , دعوت للمسلمين عامة و للعراقيين خاصة
ربي إكلأ على عينك عراقنا يا الله

بعد عرفة تحركنا الى مزدلفة و قضينا الليلة هناك

ثم توجهنا الى منى عند الصباح الباكر و دخلناها مع شروق الشمس


بعد رمي جمرة العقبة الكبرى صبيحة يوم العيد , تم النحر ثم حلقنا رؤوسنا و تحللنا من الأحرام

On that day; I was feeling fine, I decided to contact all the ones who I could contact; I congratulated them by Eid; most of them were pleased by my phone calls.
في نفس اليوم أديت الطواف و السعس

Then we two more days of stoning

In Mecca; I managed to speak to Sarah and propsed to her; yet, she needs time to think and to know me better.
ثم طواف الوداع

لتنتهي الرحلة
و لتبدأ حياة جديدة مع مغامرة جديدة

عسى الله ان لا يضلنا بعد إذ هدانا

Heading to Haj

Dear all

I'm inshjallah going to Haj tomorrow, I can't belive that I'm only one day away from the Holly Land.
I'm so excited and unable to express but it's really a big dream coming true.

I'll be away for three weeks and will hoepfully write later about it.

Please stay safe

I'll be praying for you.

Yours

A&Eiraqi

منطق الأحقاد

رغم كل ما مر بنا ويمر, لم يتملكني يوماً الشعور بالانتماء إلى جهة أو مذهب, لا نسباً و لا معتقداً!
وكان الحديثُ في هذا الأمر و ما يزال بمثابة اللعب بالنار, فهو القادر على فتح أبواب جهنم على من يخوض فيه.

في صراع السنة و الشيعة؛ نستطيع أن نتفهم الكثير من المتناقضات و الفوارق و نتعامل معها...
طرفٌ ركز على بطولات شخصيات معينة متجاهلاً الكثيرين, ليمنح من يتبع كل الشرف و الأحقية
و طرفُ أخذته ردة الفعل فلم يعط تلك الشخصيات ما تستحقه, ليقوم بتوزيع الأدوار بالتساوي بين الجميع!
طرفُ لجأ للاختلاق القصص و الروايات ليمنح مكانةً أكبر لمن يحب
وطرفُ تجاهل حوادث معينة أو تركها تكتب بصورة مبهمة في صفحات التاريخ, كي لا تسلط عليها الأضواء!
طرفٌ غالى في محبته و تودده حتى أتى بطقوس لا تنسجم مع عقل و لا منطق و لا تصدر من عاقل
و طرفٌ ركز على إنكار هذه الطقوس كما لم يكن هنالك مشكلةٌ سواها في هذا الكون الواسع!

و من ثم يأتي مبدأ خالف لكي تخالف, ليتصدر كل ماهو متفقٌ عليه فلا يترك لنا أمراً إلا و نحن فيه منقسمون على أنفسنا, نترك فيه الجوهر و نركز على تفاصيل سخيفة لا سبب لوجودها إلا خلقُ حالة من الانقسام و الخلاف.

كل هذا مفهوم أو بالأحرى قد تعايشنا معه و تفاهمنا و للأسف استسلمنا له.

ولكن, ما شاهدته اليوم كان فوق حدود التحمل, لا يمكن أن يوصف ما يهذي به هذا الوغد إلا إسفافاً و قلةُ أدب.....




هنا تأتي (لماذا؟) كبيرة تتبعها جحافل من الأسئلة لا أجد لها ردوداً
لماذا الخوض في أعراض نساء لا ناقة لهم في هذا الخلاف و لا جمل؟ و ما الذي سيزيد هذا أو ينقص؟ هل هذا من أخلاق الإسلام في شيء؟ أم هل أنه من أخلاق آل بيت محمد عليهم و عليه صلوات الله.
لماذا يجب أن نربي أجيالاً على الكره و الحقد و الطعن؟ هل هذا سيجعلنا أقوى منطقاً أم أكثر إقناعاً.
لماذا لم و لن نلجأ للمنطق و الحوار بدلاً من السب و اللعن؟
لماذا لا أرى دعوات واضحة (إلا من السيد حسين فضل الله) لإيقاف هكذا وقاحات؟
لماذا لا نرى ردود فعل قوية على هكذا قلة أدب و إسفاف؟


أستغرب كيف نحب رجلاً و نخوض في سيرة زوجاته و نلعنهن كل يوم ! و كأننا نعامل رسول الله(ص) كما لو كان ضعيفاً مغلوباً على أمره, لا حول له و لا قوة!
أوليس هذا هو الذي جعل منا أمةً واحدةً بعد أن كنا أذلةً و مغلوبين

لا حول و لا قوة الا بالله و حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل


للتنويه: المعلومات في التسجيل أعلاه كاذبة, فأم أبي بكر (رضي الله عنه) {أم الخير سلمى بنت صخر التيمية بنت عم أبيه يلتقيان في النسب مع رسول اللّه في مُرَّة بن كعب } قد أسلمت بعدما دعى لها رسول الله(ص) في أوائل الدعوة.
و أم عمر (رضي الله عنه) { حنتمة بنت هاشم بن المغيرة بن عمرو بن مخزوم } من أقارب ابي جهل, أي من أشراف قريس

Virgin

It's becoming really cold nowadays; seems the real winter has started and earlier than what I thought, Manchester is gray all the time, it's rare to see the sun, and it's really depressive weather.
When you live on your own, far away from everyone, in this cold weather, you'll have nothing but thoughts, random thoughts, flashes and images, for no reasons they come.
I find myself discussing different subjects with myself and ending up with no solution.
In the middle of this loneliness(R)'s story was one of those many things flashed into my mind.
I never met the guy, it was just a short story told to me by a relative when I asked about his mooning mother who keeps talking about sorting problems with his x-wife's family and the divorce details.
He hadn't been married for a long while when he got divorce, so;
"Why did they get divorced?" was my question.
(Because when he got married he realized that the lady was not…….) was the clear informative answer, and I could easily fill the blank.

Here is another crucial subject, another interesting matter in our pretty unfair societies, a subject which is probably a red zone or a taboo; it could be even beyond that, as arguing about it might raise many question marks.
It's the best example to prove how blood seeking people we can be, it's a clear evident that women are so oppressed and misjudged in our societies, it shows clearly that how a human being is not more than an object belongs to someone and for that one only

I'm talking about the first night, about what all the grooms(and probably their families are expecting) it's the HYMEN, that small membrane in the front of the genital area of every virgin, what everyman got to make sure that it's intact and not been touched before.
And in case it's not there, you'll be duty bound killing her, beating or at least sending her to her family filled with shame to arrange for her funeral.

To give further explanation for those who don't speak Arabic; in our countries and many other countries, women are supposed to stay virgin until they get married, they can only prove this by making sure that their hymen are intact, otherwise they'll be a shame and disgust.

I'm not here encouraging people to have sex without marriage as this is against my social and religious morals, and I'm not here trying to say that other societies are better than us.
I'm just trying to ask questions and discuss beliefs which we've been brought up to hold, without being able to discuss.

My starting point will be that no man is being asked or judged whether he had sex before or not!!
In Islam; both men and women are not allowed to have sex other than being married. They both get exactly the same punishment in case they were witnessed by four or more people
The only funny thing is what called Muta'a marriage (temporary marriage) which is only allowed for non virgin women!!!

Obviously; it's not only in our societies, as I've been told about what they call (handkerchief test) in some places in Spain.
All what they expect are few drops of blood!!

We've got to highlight that there are situations when the membrane get ruptured without having sex like riding bicycles, doing heavy exercise and masturbation.


This matter is really complicated when we take it from two different corners, the first one is how we were brought up, we never thought why should we accept this? We all have this hidden inside us, we don't try to control this madness or correct it, we simply tranfere it from one generation to another, no matter how educated or civilized we are; it's a matter of honor, pride and dignity.

The other one, which everybody ignores, is,: how the girl will be feeling? How stressful, embarrassing and insulting that will be for her.
Could anyone imagine a lady in this situation? How she would be thinking, what would happen if the guy misjudged the situation and accused her?
Have we ever paid attention to this? We're simply not ready to think about it.
Unfortunatelly; we rarely see someone shows sympathy for a girl who is not virgin.
I'm here simply asking; why should we accept this? Why should we let it go one? And is there any hope that it changes?

In this cold weather, while I'm freezing, I sat down in my bed, thinking about this more and more.
Questions started to raise; I just imagined myself became in love with a girl, went forward loving her, and felt really that I want her, got really convinced that she would be the one I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her, everything is wonderful, and then she came up with confession, sitting in front of me telling me that she is no virgin.
How should I reply?
I'm against this stupidity
If someone is good, he/she is good
We all commit sins
Good ones are the ones who try to correct their mistakes
Honest people are the ones we should respect and admire
It would be much easier for her to lie and undergo an operation
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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I kept concentrating…
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.
.

It's like a conflict inside myself

..
.
.
.
.I really don't know

Thanks God I never been in this test

العرب

تساؤلاتي لم تبدأ اليوم, بل بدأت مع التاسع من نيسان الأسود عام 2003, في تلك الفترة شعرت أن ناقوس الخطر قد دق و أن هنالك أمراً يدبر.
مع تعيين مجموعة الشراذم و الصعاليك في ما سمي حينها ب(مجلس الحكم) بدأت الصورة تتضح أكثر: الامعة القميء (محمد بحر العلوم) يقفز من مكانه كما لو كان ابن سبع سنوات ليهتف ضد العرب (كنا لهم عوناً في كل نائبة فكانوا لنا حمالة الحطب), أنبرى حينها بالتصفيق الحار رجلٌ يمتاز عن بحر العلوم بأنه أقذر, ألا وهو جلال الطلباني.
أذاً الرسالة واضحة و من أولائك الذين أختارهم المحتل ليكونوا على رأس السلطة....العرب هم أعداؤنا!!

فكرتُ في الأمر مراراً و تكراراً: لماذا علي أن أكره العرب؟ لماذا هذا السعي لقطع العراقيين عن العرب؟ لماذا؟ و لماذا؟ وفي أحضان من يريدوننا ان نرتمي؟ و من المستفيد؟

أنا لست هنا في صدد أخذ الموقف القومي المتعصب, و لستُ ولله الحمد بوقاً لأحد و لا أدافع عن جهة أو تيار, أنا هنا أطرح تساؤلات أثارت فضولي.
و لأبدأ بصورة أعتبرها صحيحة, فأنني لن أنكر وجود خلافات مع أشقائنا العرب و في النفس منهم جرحٌ و على اللسان عتب.
فالدول العربية دعمت بل كانت عاملاً مهماً في إستمرار الحصار البشع على العراق, و ما تمكنت من اتخاذ موقف مشرف من الإحتلال ولم تتحرك لمنعه.
و كثيرٌ من العراقيين تعرضوا لأهانات شتى في البلدان العربية و يعانون الأمرين, ولم ننسَ بعد ما جرى للجمهور العراقي في الأردن قبل عام.

لكن ما أناقشه هو أبعد من هذا بكثير, أنا أتساءل عن سبب خلق تيار يدعو للتنصل من العروبة و التنكر لها, أنا أتساءل عن محاولات للارتماء في أحضان هذا و ذاك لمجرد انه يعادي العرب.

على الرغم من كل ما في النفوس, علينا أن لا ننكر أن هنالك زهاء المليوني عراقي ولربما أكثر يعيشون في مختلف الدول العربية.
أجل الدول العربية امتلأت ولم تعد مستعدة لاستيعاب المزيد ولكن السويد الشقيقة أيضاً لم تعد مستعدة لاستقبال أحد و كذلك هولندا و بريطانيا.
أما الشيطان الأكبر فمازال يلوح بوعود استقبال بضعة ألاف من العراقيين.
علينا جميعاً أن لا ننكر أن العرب هم أول من نتوجه لهم حتى من دون تفكير, و هم أحن علينا من سواهم رغم كل مايذكر خلاف هذا.
فأيران العابثة ببلادنا و التي يميل لها رؤوس السلطة و لا يتوانون في لعق أحذية حاخاماتها و إرضاءهم بشتى الوسائل, إيران هذه لم تكن أحن علينا من العرب, لم أسمع عن أناس هجوا من العراق و من ضيم التهديد إلى إيران المسلمة.

حتى في سنوات الحصار الجائر و رغم خيانة الحكومات العربية, وقفت الشعوب العربية مواقف مشرفة و حاولت مد يد العون للعراقيين (ماعدا الكويتيين لا حياهم الله).
علينا أن لا ننسى طائرات الإغاثة التي لم تتردد الأمارات العربية في إرسالها حتى طلبت الحكومة العراقية أنداك إيقاف هذه المبادرة, و علينا أن لا ننسى عروضاً عربية بدفع أجور التعاقد مع مدرب أجنبي للفريق العراقي.
علينا أن لا ننسى رغدة و محمد صبحي و غيرهم ممن لم يتوانوا في زيارة العراق رغم العزلة المفروضة عليه لينالوا تشهيراً و تنكيلاً كما لو أنهم قد أقترفوا جرماً.

علينا أن لا ننسى أن الذين يجلسون على رأس السلطة اليوم في العراق المحتل كانوا يؤيدون أستمرار الحصار على العراق و هم سبقوا سواهم لدعوة الولايات المتحدة لاحتلال العراق ولطالما أكدوا امتلاك العراق لأسلحة الدمار الشامل.

أنا لا أنكر أن الخلاف الطائفي المحتد بعد الاحتلال هو سبب من أسباب هذا النزاع, ولكن من واجبنا أن نعالج هذا الموقف لا أن نؤججه.
لا تزال مشاعر العرب مع العراق و العراقيين, مازالوا يحملون نفس الروح و تحركهم مشاعر المحبة لا البغض.
تجمعنا الكلمة و اللحن و البسمة و الغيرة و النخوة و المروءة و غيرها من الطباع.
من المثير للأهتمام أن باقي الأمم تعتز بقومياتها و نطالب نحن بالتنكر لقوميتنا, من المثير للأهتمام أن ايران المسلمة تحتفل يوماً واحداً بعيد الأضحى و يوماً واحداً بعيد الفطر و لكن الأحتفال برأس السنة الفارسية يدوم خمسة عشر يوماً.
ما يجمعنا بالعرب هو أكبر بكثير مما يعزلنا عنهم, وما يشدنا اليهم أقوى بكثير مما يبعدنا عنهم.
علينا جميعاً أن ندرك أن ندرك أن العرب هم بعدنا الأقليمي و واقعنا و مستقبلنا, ما يضيرنا يضيرهم و ما يضيرهم يضيرنا , الموقف السلبي من العروبة لن يقودنا إلا إلى الهاوية.
أنا من ناحيتي فخورُ جداً بكوني عربي, و أشعر بالفرح عندما ألتقي عربياً هنا فعلى الأقل يفهم أحدنا الآخر حتى وأن لم يتحدث.
و أن كان حبي للعروبة جريمةً فاعتبروني أول مجرم.

عندما يختار المرء ان يكون وضيعاَ

لحاكَ اللّه ثُمَّ لَحاكَ حقًّا * أباً، ولَحاكَ من عَمٍّ وخالِ

فنِعْمَ الشيخُ أنْتَ لدى المخازي * و بئسَ الشيخ أنت لدى المعالي

جمعتَ اللُّؤْمَ لا حَيَّاكَ رَبِّي * و أبوابَ السَّفاهةِ والضَّلالِ

داليا....رمز المحبة

بدأ البرد يطرقُ الأبواب, ليس برد الجو فقط, بل بردٌ عام يجتاح حياتي, حالةٌ من الخمول و الكسل مصحوبةٌ بضجر و شعور بالفراغ و اليأس و آهاتُ فراق تبدأ و لا تنتهي.
الأخبار كلها لا تسر, وخصوصاً ما يتعلقُ بالموصل الحدباء, المدينة التي طالما مثلت رمزاً شامخاَ في صرح العراق, فهي تمزج أصالة العرب بباقي ألوان الطيف العراقي لتكون درة التاج و مصنع الأبطال.

في هكذا وقت: توجب علي أن أطمئن على شخص ذو منزلة خاصة (داليا).
ليست داليا مجرد صديقة بل أختٌ بما في الكلمة من معنى, كانت داليا جميلة و رقيقة أو بالأحرى ترفة, كانت عذبةُ كالفرات و عنيدةُ كتيار دجلة و حنونة كأم .
و أنا أفكر بها , عادت ذاكرتي إلى ربيع 2006...
في أحد الأيام دخلت الكلية لأرى (داليا) ترتدي الحجاب:
(ولج داليا صارلي ست سنين أعرفج, و لحد البارحة العصر انت مسيحية, ما تكليلي شجاب الربطة فوك راسج؟ ترى كمت أخبط مي و دهن!!!)
بابتسامتها ردت: (والله أجا تهديد...الما محجبة تنكتل ...و انا بصراحة ما جايزة من عمري )
ضحكت و ضحكت و مضت القصة نكتةُ أقصها لكل من ألتقيه.

تركت العراق و ما انقطعت عنها...حتى وصلنا لأتفاق...(ولج داليا تزوجيني...انا أحسن من الغريب...والله محد يأخذج غيري...ولج تاليتج عانس بلياي و لاتشيلين هم الدين ....انت الك دينك و انا الي ديني....صومي خمسينك و أصوم ثلاثيني)

(شوف أبوي...إحنا نتفق: أنتظرني لحد ما أصير أربعين سنة...إذا ما متزوجة ...أتزوجك..لأن بعد ماكو فايدة)
أنا من ناحيتي وافقت...شكو وراي؟ انا بكل الأحوال باقي

جميلةٌ هي الصداقة عندما تكون بلا قيود...بلا خوف أو قلق... ترتقي لدرجة الثقة و المحبة ثم الأخوة الصادقة...هكذا كنا نمزح دوماً.

اليوم, وانأ أرى ما أرى من ردة فعل عمياء بحق المسلمين لما جرى للمسيحيين في الموصل..أحسست بالقلق.
داليا مقطوعة الأخبار...منطوية! و لم ترد على آخر رسائلي! هل يعقل أنها قد إنزلقت في فخ الحماقة الذي وقع فيه الكثيرين؟ هل تراها قد أخذتني بجرم سواي؟ أم أنها قررت أن تنقطع عن كل من يمت بصلة لدين أنهال عليه الجميع ليطعنوه بلا رحمة آخذيه بجرم من سولت له نفسه أن يرتكب جرماً متجاهلين ما فيه و رافضين منحه الفرصة ليدافع عن نفسه.

قلقي عليها فاق شكوكي, و شوقي لها تغلب على ظنوني....بادرت إنا بالسؤال وكان لها الرد

(شلونج؟ و شأخبارج؟)
.....اني زينة الحمد لله ....أنت شلونك؟ ما راح تتزوج؟
.....يا ستار شنو هالطاري..إحنا مو بناتنا إتفاق لو ناوية تخونين العهد
.....ها! مو ! يعني ....ممممم
.....ها ولج؟ جايلج عريس؟
.....لا ..يعني أي بس اهلي بعدهم ما نطوا موافقة رسمية
.....يعني أنت مقتنعة
.....اي ..ها ....يعني هي بعدها الشغلة مو رسمية
في هذه الأثناء كان قلبي يرقص فرحاً....تخيلوا (داليا) عروسة...كأني أراها بالثوب الأبيض تمشي في ممر الكنيسة...ما أحلاها ....ما أروع تلك اللحظة...وددت لو كنت هناك...آه لو اني معهم آه.
....بس انا شفتلك عروسة
....انا عاتب عليج...كايلج دوريلي...أنت خائنة...عفتيني و رحتي
....انت لا تستعجل...بعدها الشغلة ما صارت رسمية ...إذا تفركشت أرجعك عالشحن ههههههههه
.....اي مو انا الأحتياطي مال الخلفوج...يحطوني بالصندوق الخلفي بمكان ال(سبير)زم
.....لا صدك والله انا لكيتلك خوش بنية
.... لا صدك : انت كل المشكلة انك ما حبيت , انت لو تحب كان افكارك كلها تغيرت...شوف وحدة وحبها و بعدين فكر بالأرتباط
....بابا انا لا أريد أحب و لاأريد أفكر بالأرتباط ..أنت حيري بنفسج
....شوف خلي احجيلك قصة :

"كان يا مكان


في قديم الزمان


حيث لم يكن على الارض بشر بعد

كانت الفضائل والرذائل ..

تطوف العالم معا" ..

وتشعر بالملل الشديد ...

وذات يوم ..
وكحل لمشكلة الملل المستعصيه

إقترح الإبداع .. لعبه ..

واسماها " الأستغمايه "

أحب الجميع الفكره ..

وصرخ (الجنون ) قائلا"

أريد ان اكون أول من يبدأ ..

انا من سيغمض عينيه .. ويبدأ العد

وأنتم عليكم المباشره بالإختباء


ثم أتكأ(الجنون) على شجره ..وبدأ..

واحد .. اثنان ...ثلاثه .......

وبدأت الفضائل والرذائل بالإختباء
وجدت ( الرقه ) مكانا" لها فوق القمر

واخفت ( الخيانه ) نفسها في كومة نفايه

دخل ( الولع ) بين الغيوم ..

ومضى( الشوق ) إلى باطن الأرض

( الكذب) قال بصوتٍ عالٍ :

سأخفى نفسى تحت الحجاره .. ثم توجه لقاع البحيره

واستمر ( الجنون ) بالعد ...
تسعه وسبعون ... ثمانون ....

خلال ذلك أتمت كل الفضائل والرذائل تخفيها ..

ما عدا ( الحب ) كعادته لم يكن

صاحب قرار .. وبالتالي لم يقرر أين يختبئ

وهذا غير مفاجئ لأحد ..

فنحن نعلم كم هو صعب إخفاء الحب...

تابع (الجنون ) :..

خمسه وتسعون ...سبعه وتسعون ...

وعندما وصل ( الجنون) في تعداده للمائه

قفز (الحب ) وسط مجموعه من الورد

واختفى بداخلها ..

فتح (الجنون عينيه) ..

وبدأ البحث صائحا": أنا آتٍ إليكم


كان (الكسل) أول من أكتشف

لأنه لم يبذل أي مجهود في إخفاء نفسه

ثم ظهرت (الرقه ) المختفيه في القمر

وبعدها خرج ( الكذب ) من قاع البحيره مقطوع التنفس

وأشار (الجنون ) إلى ( الشوق)

أن يرجع من باطن الأرض ..فرجع

وجدهم ( الجنون ) جميعا".. واحد بعد الآخر

ما عدا ( الحب )

كاد ( الجنون ) يصاب بالإحباط واليأس ..

في بحثه عن ( الحب )

فأقترب منه ( الحسد)..وهمس في أذنه:

( الحب )مختفي في شجيرة الورد ............ ....

التقط ( الجنون ) شوكه خشبيه أشبه بالرمح

وبدأ في طعن شجيرة الورد .. بشكلٍ طائش

ولم يتوقف إلا عندما سمع صوت بكاء

يمزق القلوب

ظهر ( الحب ) وهو يحجب عينيه بيديه ..

والدم يقطر من بين أصابعه ..

صاح ( الجنون ) نادما" :

يا إلهى ماذا فعلت؟؟؟

ماذا أفعل كي أصلح غلطتي بعد أن افقدتك بصرك؟؟؟

أجابه (الحب) قائلا":انت لن تستطيع إعادة

النظر لي ... لكن لازال هناك ما تستطيعه !!

إفعله لأجلي .. ( كن دليلي )

وهذا ما حصل من وقتها ..

يمضى ( الحب ) أعمى
يقوده ( الجنون ؟) المجنون .

" كنت دائما اتسائل لماذا الحب اعمى الان عرفت السبب لان الجنون فقع عينيه

تعرف: انا كلش مشتاقتلك
....انا هم مشتاقلج...بس من صدك فرحتيني اليوم

سعادتي بداليا كانت سعادتين....سعادة لأنها وجدت من ترتاح له و تهواه و سعادة أخرى لأنها حتى لم تحاول إن تتطرق لما يجري للمسيحيين في العراق هذه الأيام....لم تحاول أن تحرجني ولو بشق كلمة.
ما كان لشيء أن يفرق بين الأصدقاء إذا كانت الصداقة هي الأساس و صاحبة الأولوية
ستبقى داليا رمزاً من رموز حبي للعراق....عراق فيه المحبة هي اساس المواطنة وما سواها الى زوال

رغم الألم ...هناك دوماً أمل
كل أحد و انتو طيبين,....قداس سعيد

بغداد

No Wonder

شعب أمريكا غبي
كف عن هذا الهراء
لا تدع للحقد أن يبلغ حد الإفتراء
قل بهذا الشعب ما شئت
ولكن لا تقل غبياً
أيقولون غبياً .. للغباء ؟!

أحمد مطر

صوت البلابل

كلمات مؤثرة و هدفٌ سامي


الشاعر زياد البصراوي

عيد سعيد

العيد طل علينا من جديد
كل عام و انتم بخير يا عراقيين, كل عام و انتم بخير يا أطيب الناس و يا أكرم الناس و يا أجود الناس و يا أشرف الناس و يا أروع الناس و يا أرق الناس.
كل عام و أنت بخير يا أحلى وطن و يا أكرم وطن ويا أبهى وطن و يا أطهر وطن و يا أعظم وطن.
كل عام وأنت بخير رغم الاحتلال... كل عام و أنت بخير رغم الألم...كل عام وانت بخير رغم المآسي و الآم....كل عام وانت بخير رغم الدمار...كل عام وأنت بخير رغم حقد الحاقدين....كل عام وأنت بخير رغم خيانة الخائنين....كل عام وأنت بخير رغم تخريب المحتلين و العابثين... كل عام وأنت بخير ولو كره الكافرون.
جعل الله أيامك مليئةً بالسعادة و البهجة يا حبيبتي بغداد و اعادك الله لنا كما كنت دوماً منارةً لا تدانيها الشمس.

صلاةُ العيد ثم قطعةُ كاهي و صحن قيمر كانت دوماً البداية, فتهاني وتبريكات و آمالٌ و دعوات و عيدية تُجمع من الأحبة في صباح اليوم الأول.
هكذا عهدتُ العيد فيك يا وطني...بسيطُ كما نحن, و جميل مليءٌ بالدفء كما أنت.

في غربتي هذه,وإنا بعيدًُ عن الوطن و الاهل و الصحبة و ولامظهر حولي يرمز للعيد
رأيتُك يا وطني و قد ملأ الناس الأمل.
أملك يا وطني يملأني بهجة و سرورا

أيامكم سعيدة و كل عام و انتو بخير

Ten minutes jumping

The day I left Baghdad; I refused to hug him, I promised that we're going to meet again the day after.
I simply ran away without saying good bye; I wasn't strong enough to say it, and deep inside I had a strange feeling that we would meet again.
I'm talking here about N, this is not a friend, he is much more than that, he is my second half, the brother who I don't share blood with, or as Saif described it
"The soul's mate" who we've been friends for over 11 years now.

The long distance never kept us away from each other; it was just very difficult to see each other.
Soon after I left; he packed and moved to Kurdistan looking for a safer life.
Never settled there and never felt comfortable, his dreams were much farther.

Struggled many times to get to Europe but failed, yet, never gave up, and here we are:

A month ago, with difficulty, taking all the risks, traveling through one country to another, he managed to reach Holland.
I couldn't believe it! He is close now, a matter of 1 hour flight, it's quite easy to be there, we're going to see each other again, thanks God.

I started looking forward for the soonest possible off day to go, and it was last Friday.
Finishing the 4 night shifts I had to do, I packed my bag in few minutes and rushed from Manchester to Liverpool were I had to take to the plane.

On my way; I had flashes from the past, him being threatened by the security forces, there weapons were pointed to his neck, when I started shouting and threatening.
We were always ready to die together, he never let me down.

As soon as I landed there started looking for the moment that we meet; it wasn't long after:
"I've promised you that we would meet again, that's why I didn't say good bye"
That what I said when we hugged each other.

"You haven't been changed at all" that was his first sentence.

In two and a half days; we talked about everything, every moment that we spent away from each other, every problem, every challenge and every new person we met in those two years.

We walked out, we lied down on the grass, we played, laughed, sang and ate, we had really fun.
While chatting we tried to count all our friends and where they're now; it was really shocking that; not less than 50% of the ones, who were graduated in our year are not working for the ministry of Health now.
And the last thing was going out in Den Haag "Lahai"
Where we found that childish jumping place, I never denied being a child, did I?
We went in, paid the fee and started jumping, up and up, never stopped for ten minutes.


In those ten minutes I kept looking at him, the same smile, the same gestures, and the same childish behavior.
I closed my eyes and found myself sitting in his black small car (the one he used to have in Baghdad), as he used to come everyday, ringing the bell, and then we both disappear.
Going out, drinking special juice from (14th of Ramadan street), chatting, listening to songs, eating Falafel or Lahmb3ajeen, and then going back, sit in the car, keep talking, talking about love, friends and future plans.
By that time; the ten minutes were over and we had to leave.
I left the place, I had to hug him as he took the train, but still feel like sitting in the car.
I left him there but sure will see him again.
"No matter when or where, there is only one world, where we both are living, whenever you need me; you'll find me around, you'll find my hand stretched and my heart opened…..see you soon".
Will never say Good Bye.

A Reply to a Friend

It all started with a polite and kind e-mail I received; a person who was always nice to me at my blog, never been rude, never tried to insult and did his best to fill the gap.

"A&E, I thought I would check by e-mail since I wasn't sure you would want me to leave a comment. Were you able to find a new Job? Well, we are all rooting for you. Know that.
Glad your sister got married. Awesome. :-) I also wish I could have been to Venezia with you.

I think I told you this already, but I am very sorry about the mistakes my country made in Iraq that hurt Iraqis. But I am hopeful that Iraq will rise to greater heights than ever before soon. :-)
Cheers Friend,

(can I call you Abhoiya? I don't know if you will be offended. So I will call you friend instead".)

The impolite me haven't replied to the e-mail yes; been very busy, moving to Manchester, trying to sort my life and many other reasons could be used for excuse.
In fact; I've been loading thoughts, everyday or probably every second

In the last month, I had lots of events in my life; most of them made me get more upset.
The day I arrived to Manchester, I met (S); the beautiful friend of my mother and aunts, she has got her particular story which I've mentioned before.
A mother of five is what she used to be, a broken heart ghost of lady with one son is who she is now.
Still dressed in black, still repeating every second of the event, she has got nothing else to talk about.

(S) was at home; with her big family, surrounded by her five children, not living in military base, not a member of the Iraqi intelligence system, her husband wasn't a member in Ba'ath either.

They started bombing, everyone was scared, and they decided to sit in the centre of their house, just to be away from the windows.
All lied down, sleeping beside each other, supporting and encouraging the scared ones, praying to Allah, asking him to let them seeing the next day.

They exactly chose the spot where the rocket fallen, they all disappeared together, the (lucky/unfortunate) S didn't have a place in the middle, she had to sleep close to the door with her two sons.

In a second; everyone was in a big hole, the shocked S turned around, jumped and just before shouting, she saw on e of the two sons being hit by a piece of furniture due to the blow, unfortunately he also gone.

I'm unable to find a word which can figure out how she feels; her image comes to my mind whenever I remember Geoff Hoon, the [U.K.] Defence Secretary, suggested (April 4, 2003) that mothers of Iraqi children killed by cluster bombs would “one day” thank Britain for their use.

I'm pretty sure she does not.

What I've got to admit here is; I've never met any British person who said that he agrees with this war; many said that they feel ashamed that there country participated in destroying a country like Iraq.

Yet; having a word with a mother from the other side showed who I've become now.
I always admire the mother for being a mother; she had committed no sin, and she can't be but a mother.
Sitting close to her she raised the question (where are you from?); Iraq was my spontaneous reply.
"Oh, that is where my son going in few weeks, look here is his photo on the wall".
While staring g at the solder's photo I lost my smile.
"Don't send him there, he will be killed"
The shocked mother didn't know what to say, I could see the fear in her eyes, her mouth was opened and she was struggling for a word.
"But, he is a nice boy! He didn't do anything wrong?!"
"Maybe, but he is dressed like the ones who are killing, raping, torturing and destroying, what do you think people would show him but hate, they will never hesitate killing him"
She just tried to end the discussion as she was really scared
"He is only 18, and I can't do anything about it, I believe that they shouldn't be sent there, I'm really against this war".

I've got to admit that I showed no sympathy to that poor mother; I couldn't pretend having any, I was really out of.
"You shouldn't have asked at the first place" was my last statement.

How come you expect me to have any sympathy when I hear that cancer incidence is increasing in Iraq due to the depleted Uranium?
Illiteracy is escalating since the invasion; Iraq is one of the most corrupt countries in the world.

Back to the friend; you said you feel sorry for "the mistakes", no my friend, Americans don't do mistakes; they commit crimes, there is a big difference in between the two words.

We might forgive a mistake, but we should never let it go with the crimes.
The American crimes destroyed everything in our lives; killed millions of our children, and deprived generations from the hope.
This is not to be forgiven.

Still; they've got the power and they can kill more, yet, we can hurt them and we will do.
Sorry my friend but we're on two sides of the front; wish we don't meat each other.

In the anniversary of 11/09; I've got no sympathy; I just wish I live to see more attacks, more destruction, to the Hell U.S

زكية و مهند

التغيير الذي طرأ على حياة زكية زوجة عباس ابو اللبلبي أثار دهشة الجميع و خصوصاً زوجها.
زكية أصبحت تبذل ما في وسعها لقضاء شغل البيت بأسرع وقت ممكن, طبخ, تنظيف, تعديل المهم كلشي خلصان و الكل متعشين و ماعدهم كل طلبات قبل التاسعة مساءً و الي عنده طلب بعد هذا التوقيت يشوفله حايط و يركع راسه بيه.

الموضوع و ببساطة هو أن زكية حالها حال الملايين من سيدات الأمة العربية قد أضحت مولعة ب(مهند ونور).
و خصوصاً ب(مهند) فتى أحلام تسعة أعشار النساء في الوطن العربي.
و (مهند) هو أسم مدبلج لبطل المسلسل التركي الذي شغل الشارع العربي و أثار مشاعر كانت مدفونة تحت انقاض الزمن الأليم.
زكية تتسمر أمام شاشة التلفزيون و تتعابع كل كلمة و كل همسه باندماج و تركيز لم يحظ به أحد منها في يوم من الأيام بما في ذلك زوجها عباس و لا حتى في ليلة عرسهم.
غبي كل من يفكر في التفوه بكلمة و زكية تشاهد المسلسل, فجزاؤه يتراوح بين(عيطة قوية) مروراً ب(قزرالقط) و لا يتوقف عن(من الله يخنك و يخلصني منك).
مهند أضحى جزأً لا يتجزأ من حياة زكية, أو بالأحرى كلمة السر التي يمكن أن تفتح كل الأبواب الموصدة, لدرجة أن عباس أضحى يحلفها(بداعة مهند سويلنا شاي).

المشكلة تتفاقم في أيام معينة, ألا وهي أيام حصول مباراة كرة قدم في توقيت المسلسل, عباس من المولعين بكرة القدم و بالتالي هو سيد المنزل و لا يمكن أن يتناقش في هذا الموضوع, و زكية مهزومة لا محالة, زكو تطلع من الغرفة وهي تدردم( والله عمن تغار من هنودي, خابصني برونالدينهو, مو هي الطيور على اشكالها تقع, هو انت هم خلفة الوحدة تباوعلها).

الموضوع طال و عرض و المسلسل كان له بداية و ليس له نهاية و حلقاته تجاوزت المئة بكثير و زكية لم تكل و لم تمل و تشوف الحلقة و الأعادة, لا بل تمادت و تريد تحبل و تجيب ولد حتى تسميه (مهند).
عباس حال الظيم حاله لأن الحل و الربط يم مهند.
و فجأةً و من دون سابق إنذار جاءت فتوى المرجعية بتحريم المسلسلات التركية, جاك الفرج عبوسي, عباس منع المسلسل التركي من أن يشاهد في البيت إمتثالاً لأمر المرجعية الدينية, دموع زكية لم تجف بعد.
فهي ممنوعة من متابعة مهند و نور, لا يمكنها أن تعيش معهم اللحظات الرومانسية الدافئة التي لم تحظ بها يوماً مع عباس.
لا تستطيع أن تستمع للكلمات الرقيقة التي لم يتفوه بها عباس يوماً, حرمت زكية من أن تشاهد مهند و هو يقاتل من أجل نور, و هو ينظر في عينيها, و هو يبكي من أجلها, و هو يحظنها أو يركع تحت قدميها, ببساطة حُرمت زكية من أن تتذوق نكهة الحب حتى لو من بعيد.

زكية ليست إلا رمزٌ من خيالي بعد أن أدهشني اهتمام الشارع بالمسلسلات التركية, انا لم أتابع هذا المسلسل يوماً, أنا حتى ليس عندي تلفاز, و جل ما شاهدته منه مقتطفاتٌ لم أرى فيها إلا روتيناً و سلسلة مغامرات نهايتها انتصار الخير و الحب.

ما أثار دهشتي هو اهتمام الشارع و خصوصاً النساء بهذا المسلسل, هذا الاهتمام لا يعكس إلا واقع أن المرأة العربية محرومة من الإحساس بالدفء, محرومة من الحب, متعطشة للرومانسية ولو كانت وهماً.

السؤال هو لماذا تم تحريم هذا المسلسل؟لماذا التحريم؟

بالنسبة لي هذا المسلسل لا يستحق أن أتابع منه ولو نصف حلقة و هو لا يستحق إضاعة الوقت, و لكن هل هذا هو رأي الجميع؟ قطعاً لا.
لقد عجز رجال الدين عن فرض منطقهم فلجئوا للتحريم, بالأحرى هم أصلاً لم يحاولا أن يطرحوا منطقاً أو أن يناقشوا القضية.
السيستاني المختبئ في جحره صرح بتحريم هذه المسلسلات, لماذا لا يخرج السيستاني و يعطي دروساً للناس في وقت بث المسلسل و سنرى من سيحظى بجماهيرية أعلى, أليس هو المرجع الأعلى.
هل لاحظنا أن أي فتوى بالتحريم قد صدرت مع تأكيد أن يراعي الرجال مشاعر النساء و أن يوفروا لهم كماً من الرومانسية.

هل يستطيع أحد أن يذكر متى قال كلمةً ناعمة لزوجته, متى حاول أن يحسسها بالحب, بالأمان, بالحنان؟
هل حاول رجال الدين أن يوصوا الرجال بأتباع رومانسية الرسول(ص)؟

هل حاولوا أن يفكروا بالواقع المرير الذي نحياه؟ هل حاولوا أن يتفقوا على موعد موحد لصيامنا و إفطارنا؟
أم أنهم قرروا أن يغطوا فشلهم بلوم الناس و اتهامهم بالسوء و الجهل.

ليس مهند إلا دليل على واقع الفراغ الذي نحياه......عاش الحب .....و ستبقى زكية تحلم بمهند

Money

"But, this one is expensive! You shouldn't have spent your money on me"
The event might have no relationship to what I'm writing about; but I feel it does, as I've reached a stage of being really upset and just about to shout; a strange feeling I never thought of.

Here we go; a week ago I started my new career; my foundation program, I'm doing a training post in what is called the Greater Manchester in the Great Brittan; all sounds great.

Day one was the day which all the newly graduated doctors in the U.K were dreaming about and I'm apparently supposed to be just like them.

Waiting in the conference room to start the induction day; we all had to put our details on papers, sign many documents and wait for the talk.

After short introduction; the program included a speech for the chief executive of the hospital; I kept thinking for a while: how successful someone should be to become a chief executive? What would he tell us to learn from his experience? Will he teach us how to be successful just like him?

Well; he didn't bother coming; and sent someone to give the speech; the best one for the first day; the financial manager, thought he would advise us well for our career.

The man talked about nothing but money; first of all "the hospital is down for three million Pounds" (should I care!), "We're working hard to get that money".
The unpleasant start didn't end shortly as the "Apparently" Medical Director of the hospital started after the financial manager and he mentioned the word (money) more then anything else.

I'm in a place where the main concerns are money; we should use the bigger more painful needle to take blood sample rather than the small less painful one as it costs much less.

We should wash our hands many times and do our best to protect our patients from getting infections not for the sake of their good health but because the hospital will be charged for every case of hospital acquired infection above the limit.

Two wards in the hospital are rented to another hospital for patients who need rehab but we as doctors have got to go and see those patients if they get unwell during the night as they’ve got no on call doctors on these wards.

One building is being rented to a foreign company to be used as a private surgical centre, and of course they've got no doctors on call and we have to run there for every cardiac arrest happens.
The car park is sold to a company which charges a lot for using it.

Cost is the only concern and money is a priority.

I do admit that working as a doctor gives me good income and I've got to admit that I'm a type of person who is always ready to work extra hours to earn more.
Yet; the thing I enjoy about my job is the human side of it; making people feel better, saving someone's life or treating his illness is a joy.
Feeling smart when I detect something early and treat it appropriately is a passion.

All of sudden I'm feeling sick for this life; many people have got the (Do not resuscitate) forms already signed not to preserve their dignity as many people try to say but just not to waste money.
Money, money, money, it's all about money
I'm working on a ward where there is no one touch tympanic thermometer; and instead of it there is two minutes waiting under the tongue stick.
When I asked why the answer was (it was broken and they didn't buy a new one, well doctor this one is easy to be used and accurate).

Every patient in this country spent a fortune in his life paying taxes and they end up
with such a poor service; that simply how life is unfair; that's why I'm upset.

There was a weekend when I had no more than £5 in my pocket, but I didn’t feel helpless as I’m feeling now.

Going back to the top line; this was my aunt who joined me while moving to my new place, being unhappy with me buying her a gift which she thought it was too much.
She wasn’t the only one saying so; it has been said many times; (My money) what a joke!
Seems she forgot all the time she used to collect from her very small income to send it to us, she forgot all what she did or probably I’m supposed to forget.
When says (your money) I don’t know what to reply; should that be only mine; then what should I do with; drink it? Could Iraq drink its oil?
Or probably I should collect it and put it later on my grave.
I never hated money as much as I do now.
“Show me that you feel happy with it, or at least just smile; it might make me feel alive or being able to do something worthy, I do feel worthless”.

That how I replied

Restart

I'm packing at the moment; I've got a great opportunity to do two years of a training post in the second biggest city in England (Manchester). I should be starting in a week time.

Everyone congratulated me when heard about it, it simply means that I'll be doing the same as every junior doctor graduated from U.K, and after the two years I'll be able to apply for further training which is really my dream. To make the long story short; this is what I was dreaming about.

Two years is equal to what I've spent in U.K until now, it means a good time to work hard and improve my knowledge and skills.
Everyone is telling me that Manchester is cheaper; people are nice, still cosmopolitan, and major city. Lots of dreams, plans are waiting to be achieved.

I'm lucky, I thank Allah 100s of times everyday for what the Almighty have given me, I'm going in the right direction and getting what I'm looking for, no one of my friends have got what I had.

Ok, let me be honest; I don't want to go
Stupid, ridiculous, idiot, arrogant, or whatever you want to say;
I know, but please try to get my point.

It's another new life; I was never lucky with a new life; it took me about three years to accept the fact that I left Basra and go on with my life in Baghdad, and after two years of living in UK, I still feel like living in Baghdad not anywhere else.
It's not about what I've got where I'm living; I've got nothing, but I don't want to start a new life, I don't want to meet people, get friends, and then to wave good bye.
I just don't want to suffer.
I remember when I first arrived to where I'm living now about 15 months ago, I had no body to talk to, but there was an Iraqi shop, few Arabs, I went to my consultant saying "Please, I don't want to go back to the horrible town I was living before".

For 15 months I got used to my surrounding, I'll never be in love with it, but I got used to it.
Should I start again? Sit lonely in my room again, walk around lonely, talk to myself, do nothing but wait to finish it, or should try to get used to it till the two years end and then will have to start again somewhere else.
I think this is a particular problem to all doctors in UK, they never settle.

OK, whether I like it or not I'm going there, I've got to go, two years of loneliness, two years of pain, two years of desperation, it’s just two years, so what?

In those two years I'll try to get a completely different attitude, I close my door and try not to socialize, it's much better than having a painful farewell.

One day I'll go back to Iraq and forget all this waste of time.

The Halal's delusions

"So, you don't eat from McDonald's, you've never tried Burger king or any
Of these ones, what do you eat?"

That was my father mocking at me when I told him that I don't eat but Halal food.
He didn't imagine that I don't buy meat from supermarkets, don't eat from the famous take away restaurants or anywhere unless I read the word Halal written somewhere...

This is a particularly interesting subject to me as I feel torn about it; I myself don't believe in the concept of Halal food, yet I can't eat anything else.

For those who don't understand what I'm talking about, Halal is a term used to describe whatever permitted in Islam, the term has been used by people to describe the meat that was slaughtered according to the Islamic way.

I couldn't find anything about Halal food in the Holly Qura'n or the history of Islam.
Thinking further; in case Muslims used to eat their own meat slaughtered by them, how about the ones who used to travel? Did they used to be vegetarian?!

Thinking that way, I decided about 18 months ago that as soon as I leave London, I would start eat every type of meat regardless it's Halal or not.
And truly the place I lived in was pure English where you can't find any Halal meat, I went to the closest supermarket, but simply couldn't buy the meat, I realized that there is some sort of phobia which I'm unable to control, I spent two moths eating fish and vegetables and tasting meat only when invited to the consultant's house.
Well; it didn't last long and soon as I changed my place I got a place where I can buy Halal meat.
The only point to support the matter of Halal food is t e fact that; some of the animals are being strangulated rather than slaughtered which is not allowed in Islam.


With the time going I realized that the word itself is a source of profit; it's enough to write it on the front door of your shop, and you'll attract all the Muslims to buy from you. And strangely I found that in most of the cities I visited in Europe.

I'm sure that eating meat is not something Allah would punish us for, I'm 90% confident that the whole matter of Halal food is hoax, yet, I'm unable to put anything else in my mouth; it's probably the Halal's delusions.
What do you think?
The photo above is from Venice.

With them again

I kept looking at her while she was trying to find the bored and check when my flight would arrive.
I've just arrived yesterday from my annual leave; I went to Gulf where my family is being gathered at the moment, they were the best days I had for a long time; I enjoyed every second, and do regret coming back, yet, I had to or as it was described by someone; it's for my future.

I did my best not to waste the time; left work at 06:30 p.m to be at the airport by 08:00 p.m and flying by 10:30p.m; that meant being with them as early as possible.


As soon as we arrived to our house; I met my two sisters and my grandfather; the family is together again, what a fun, I can't describe how happy I was, I really miss that moment.


We did everything together, we went for shopping, we visited our friends and we sat together on one table to eat: I've been eating lonely for a long time.

Well; my parents daily arguments were part of the fun we were having, everyday the used to argue about something new, and trying to find a different reason for the next day argument, the first argument was about their wedding 30 years ago and the very last one was about who had the chance to spend more time with me!!

Going out with my mother and sisters was more than great, it's just very warm to feel being with them.

And fun started when we went skiing; a very little girl looked at me asking "Don't you know how to ski?" "Of course I do", I immediately replied; she saw me about to fall six times after that chat.


A couple of days later we went to the fun land, while taking the shaking flying chairs, it suddenly stopped!! "Excuse me; are you scared?!" the rude operator stopped the game and was directing his question to me, "No, I'm not" I replied with frustration to his impolite question, "Look, in case you're scared, I can stop shaking your chair and make it just flying not going up and down", "Yes, please do it" was my sister's reply. I wasn't scared at all, but that rude guy noticed that I was holding the handle very tightly and putting my head down, fixing it by my arm while my eyes were closed, later on my mother told me that it was very funny that only my chair was fixed!!

Just one day before flying back we had a special visit from our dearest friends in Saudi Arabia, we had a wonderful time together and everyone enjoyed my mother special dishes.

I'm really unable to express how I felt; it was more than a great time, I noticed how my father was behaving.

We went to buy special sweet (Halawa) when he spoke to the guy saying "look, this my son, he is a doctor, he works in England, he will take those sweat with him, so we want something special with extra nuts".
The same words were told to the butcher, the grocer and to everyone he met, it was the first time I saw him not able to control his emotions, he is probably getting old.

And just on our way to the airport, I listened to his words, few words which made my year……

"Dear son….. I want you to know that your mother and I have got no one to rely on but Allah and you, I'm quite happy with your hard work and I'm really satisfy about you but……never hesitate to help people, whenever you do, Allah will pay you back.

I want you to learn as much as possible and to be in love with science, try to read as much as possible, you're not expected to write a research now but you can read one.
As much as you work hard as much as you get more knowledge and always remember what Immam Shafi said:
كلما أدبني الدهر أراني ضعف عقلي...........وكلما زادني علما" زادني علما" بجهلي
Whenever life taught me it showed how little my brain is and whenever it tried to improve my knowledge it tells how ignorant I was.

I want you to treat every patient you get with honor, never ever forget that you're a doctor and have got a great mission in your life.
And please; give my regards to Dr. M, tell her that we're unable to pay her back for what she did with you, but Allah will do, the almighty always does."

His words were the best I heard in my life; it's always my dream to get my parents satisfaction, I know that I've got to work hard to maintain what I've got.

Those days were brilliant, and yet…I'm back …..Waiting to see them again…..maybe in a year time…..Oh my God

Taboo

I was totally shocked when she was laughing with the colleage who is in her age saying: “I know that you’ve got a very tiny onein between your legs”.

I kept quiet as he didn’t reply the way I would, and everyone took it as a funny joke.

I felt that this western girl had just crossed the red zone.

As a child, teenaher or a young; I had no input from the family about sex, my father never discussed it with me, neither anyone else did, No explanations, no warrnings and no advise.

And none of my freinds had such discussion with their parents.

I don’t know whether the mother teachs her daughter anything about sex or they keep it quiet as men do.

By the age of 15, I couldn’t imagine how a man would be able to ask his wife to give him something she keeps protecting for ages “how would he dare? And how would she agree? “Was the question which I couldn’t imagine an answer for it. It was totally away from my mind that the women would be looking for such thing.

With time I realized that these things come without discussions; at least in my culture!

Talking about sex is something most people would avoid in my culture, many would be brave enough admitting that they don’t believe in God, but when it’s about sex, then we would be crossing the limits.

What happens for the newly married couples? What is accpetable? And what is not? All are questions without answers.

Whatever happens in between the man and woman would be for them only not to be explained or discussed with the others.

And the only thing we learnt from religion that having anal sex is haram according to Sunnis while Sistani consideres it Halal.

I believe that regardless where we live; it’s more related to the way that we were brought up considering sex a highly privete and embaressing matter.

However, this might sometimes lead to dizasters, and yet, we should keep quiet about those dizasters and not to discuss them in public!

Well; few stories I know would raise many questions:

The first one was “O” whose freinds were concerned that he was quite shy and wouldn’t achieve the mission in the first night.

Trying to help him; “M” voluntarly added some whisky to his juice without letting him know, thinking that would kill the shyness.

As a result of that, the poor “O” spent his first night vomiting as he never had alchohol before.

What a fun his wife had.

The second one was a lady who had some sort of phobia from sex; it took them a week rather than a night to do it for the first time.

They kept telling the doctor that they’re having sex every other night, while in fact they hardly managed it once every week, no wounder they got no children, which is disturbing their life.

The third one was a lady whose husbend had another woman in his life, which was enough to turn her life into a misry.

Trying to calm her down, I explained that he might be looking for fun and sex as feels he is still young.

“But, he is not quite good and keen on these things” was a reply which I kept quiet after hearing.

And the forth one was about a couple who also didn’t have children, kept checking with their doctor and all the investigations were always normal, the lady was absolutely fine and the guy’s sperm sample was always normal untill he was asked to give the sample in the clinic not to bring it later.

He admitted that he kept bringing his freind’s sample as he knew already he had a problem but didn’t want to lose his pride.

From those storeis I can tell that; we have poor education about sex and we consider sex as a matter of dignity (especially for men) as man can’t be impotent and can’t be sexually inactive, and in case he was then he is supposed to keep quiet.

While women’s dignity is preserved since she is a virgin which is another complex we’ve got

It’s not about one or two guys, but thinking about the third story, I had a discussion with one of the urology doctors back home; I thought he would have seen many men at their fifties and sixtees seeking help.

He told me that many guys at their thirtees and twentees are seeking help to improve their sexual performance, but of course that should be a secret.

Compared to the western world, we’re totally different; when “S” went to her son’s school seeking the teacher’s help as the child was asking about the difference between man and woman, the teacher was surprised and replied to her “Don’t you and his father walk naked at home?!!”.

I’m not here trying to say which one is right, but I believe that we’ve got a serious problem which should be solved rather than kept as taboo.

If men are not performing enough, they should seek advice, they should keep in their minds that women need them to be sexually active and try their best to make them enjoy being together rather than having it as homework.

We need to think more about the new generation and start teaching them proper things rather then letting them learning from the street.

I think the matter was brilliantly discussed in Adel Immam’s movie “Sleeping in honey” And another movie "The Ostrich and the Peacock"