Tuesday, 29 July 2008


I'm packing at the moment; I've got a great opportunity to do two years of a training post in the second biggest city in England (Manchester). I should be starting in a week time.

Everyone congratulated me when heard about it, it simply means that I'll be doing the same as every junior doctor graduated from U.K, and after the two years I'll be able to apply for further training which is really my dream. To make the long story short; this is what I was dreaming about.

Two years is equal to what I've spent in U.K until now, it means a good time to work hard and improve my knowledge and skills.
Everyone is telling me that Manchester is cheaper; people are nice, still cosmopolitan, and major city. Lots of dreams, plans are waiting to be achieved.

I'm lucky, I thank Allah 100s of times everyday for what the Almighty have given me, I'm going in the right direction and getting what I'm looking for, no one of my friends have got what I had.

Ok, let me be honest; I don't want to go
Stupid, ridiculous, idiot, arrogant, or whatever you want to say;
I know, but please try to get my point.

It's another new life; I was never lucky with a new life; it took me about three years to accept the fact that I left Basra and go on with my life in Baghdad, and after two years of living in UK, I still feel like living in Baghdad not anywhere else.
It's not about what I've got where I'm living; I've got nothing, but I don't want to start a new life, I don't want to meet people, get friends, and then to wave good bye.
I just don't want to suffer.
I remember when I first arrived to where I'm living now about 15 months ago, I had no body to talk to, but there was an Iraqi shop, few Arabs, I went to my consultant saying "Please, I don't want to go back to the horrible town I was living before".

For 15 months I got used to my surrounding, I'll never be in love with it, but I got used to it.
Should I start again? Sit lonely in my room again, walk around lonely, talk to myself, do nothing but wait to finish it, or should try to get used to it till the two years end and then will have to start again somewhere else.
I think this is a particular problem to all doctors in UK, they never settle.

OK, whether I like it or not I'm going there, I've got to go, two years of loneliness, two years of pain, two years of desperation, it’s just two years, so what?

In those two years I'll try to get a completely different attitude, I close my door and try not to socialize, it's much better than having a painful farewell.

One day I'll go back to Iraq and forget all this waste of time.


Tara said...

Good Luck in Manchester.
You'll find Iraqi doctors there becuase now we are everywhere.

You'll be happier than now because this job is more satisfying to you.

As u said doctors are changing their places frequantly. That's true. Every doctor I know did the same.

I did not know that u r from Basra. I lived there till 1993.

Don Cox said...

Manchester is a great city. It has two orchestras, two universities, lots of football. I think you will find the people friendly. It would be a big mistake to say "I won't make new friends because I will lose them". This happens all the time. Enjoy them while you can. _____ After these two years, you can see if it is safe enough to return to Basra. If things go on as they are now, it probably will be. ____ Good luck!

A&Eiraqi said...

Dear All

Thanks a lot for your words.
Whether I like it or not; I'm going.
It's just a weird feeling of wasting the life.
Why should I do so?
Why should I see my family once a year and very shortly? Why should I keep jumping from one place to another? Why was I keen to leave Iraq? Why don't I go back?
I don't want to go
Yet; I'm going

Many people had replied to my questions saying it's for your future.
I wonder why we choose the hard life? Why should I look always for the highest?

I wonder whether I'll look back after 30 years and regret wasting my life running to no where.

I'm going
I'm going

Tara said...

Dear, this is not wasting of ur life or time.
This will add to your experience.

The year that I spent here in Oman practicing Radiology is = the 5 years I spent in Baghdad .

Life in Iraq is very boring & medicine had deteriorated.

I know that we should be there helping the Iraqi people but I feel that I wasted a lot of time there( 9 yrs) helping others but hurting myself.

Be selfish a little
& I think we will return back to Iraq after few years ( before few months I thought this is impossible but now it's a possiblity).

Right now, me & my friends are getting experience & doing the FRCR exams & study hard to improve ourselves.

This is for ourselves & for our country later on.

انتة ضايج بس لانك رايح على شي مجهول و متعرفه حاليا
لكن بس تسكن و تداوم كم يوم ، كلشي يتغير و تتعود شوية شوية

آني همين ما احب التغيير و التنقلات الهواية بس و الله وراها اقول النقلة جانت احسن

اني اكثر وحدة ما ردت اطلع من العراق بس هسة اقول الحمدلله اني طلعت

يمعود والله احنا ما جنا عايشين هناك
كلشي جان منهار داير مادايرنا
و الناس صاروا عنيفين و كذابين

شوف الناس شلون ذوق و هادئين و يحترمون الآدمي بالدول الثانية

هدي اعصابك
و اكتبلنا بعدين شنو صار وياك