Monday, 27 August 2007

The tragidic Relationship

Today was a nice sunny day; everyone was outside, so I decided to go to the park and enjoy the sun which has been away for a while.

Couples were everywhere, the young girl was sitting in the lap of her partner, and many young couples were kissing each other ignoring the whole world around.
The a bit older ones were having a glass of wine while sitting on the river side; others were walking hand by hand.

The most beautiful thing was seeing the elderly gentleman with his lady while struggling to walk and to hold her hand at the same time.

It’s just beautiful to see love and how people behave while they’re in love.
Of course it wasn’t pleasant to me that I was the only one holding his papers and studying seriously while walking around them( as I’m the type of person who walks while studying).

Thinking about love brought a story into my mind; I’ve mentioned this one before calling it "Iraqi Tragedy"

They’re still together! Going on in their relationship, looking at it in different ways; still they’re engaged and away from each other.

No change happened in the last six months; she decided to go on as she hopes regaining his heart again, sooner or even later.

He had to accept going on as he promised her to do what she wants as he considers the whole story his own sin.

Since the time he faced her with how he feels about their relationship and how he doesn’t have any emotions towards her, things got more complicated!
For the last six months she struggled by all the means trying to show how much she loves him; words, messages, saying “I love you”, “My dear” and “Honey” till she became embarrasses as he never replied to her words; as a result; she replaced them with “ I miss you so much” to get not more than “Thank you”.

It’s quite hard what that girl is being through; the guy doesn’t show any concern about her or what she feels.
He keeps listening to what she says, so he knows a lot about her as she tells him everything, yet, she doesn’t know anything about him as he keeps quiet!
She doesn’t know how he lives, who his friends are, and many other things.
The horrible thing is; she doesn’t dare to ask as she finds a big wall separating them from each other.

The poor girl is unable to complain of her feelings and her sufferance with his ignorance as she knows what his reply will be: “It’s entirely up to you, if you want to stop and finish everything; I’m quite ready for that”!
He started telling her his plans for the future which don’t make any sense for her; he doesn’t want to have children for the next ten years at least!
For the purpose of getting a job; they may have to live in different cities and meet at the weekends.
That happens for many couples and it’s understandable, but to be the plan is something else.

The girl is just exhausted, she is exhausted of being ignored and rejected, this should be the most beautiful period in her life, she is just engaged, if not now then when?

On the other hand, he is lost, he feels like being trapped, he feels like being a child, can’t trust himself, he doesn’t want to think about being in love with her again as he knows that might vanish again!!

With every chat they have, he hopes that it could be the last one; however, there is always another one.

The girl is in love, living a romantic story and believes that he is the brave knight who is coming soon to save her.
She dreams a lot about him and how nice he is, she tells her friends about him, maybe she doesn’t tell them the whole truth or just hide the painful part!

She has her hope and pretends to be strong and always tries to offer him her heart, always asks him to tell her about his problems and what makes him sad.
She wants him to put his head on her shoulder and talk to her like a child.
He is in pain, he feels guilty, but, he is unable to manage it, he would love to make he happy, but not by saying “I love you” as he is quite sure he doesn’t.
He wishes she doesn’t love him and deal with the whole matter as a business she has to get some benefit out of.

When people ask him about her, he feels irritated, he doesn’t know how to lie, he feels like being asked about something he has nothing to do with!!!

I just don’t know how this tragedy is going to end up, is it possible that she will fed up?
Is it possible that he will go on and things become better after marriage?
Will he be able to manage living with someone he doesn’t love or probably he rejects living with?
Will it be easy for her to live with someone who doesn’t love her?

I don’t know what to call such relationship; it’s absolutely not love, as I know that love is a type of relationship when on both sides there is the desire to be together.
In this one; madness is on one side while ignorance is on the other!!
There is passion on one side and guilt on the other!

What to do is the question, which needs an answer to solve this tragedy!!

While walking around all the couples in the park, I asked myself; if they’ve started their life in such hard way, will they be able to behave like the couples I’ve seen today once? I really doubt it.

Iraqi Tragedy:


Anonymous said...

I think he should be brave enough to break up with her other than telling her that he planned not to see her but in weekends and not to have kids only after 10 years of marriage ?! what a crazy girl she would be if she accept this plain cruelty from him. she should have more confidence in herself and may be more dignity and let him go . Either he'll feel guilty , use his brain , realize her value and come back for her or may be he is changed , feeling that he is too good for her ?!
i wish the girl turns to
her future and not to attach her destiney with him .if u r reading this girl , Get over him , stop being the weak . he is absolutely living in an other world .
woooohh!! it is a sad story ..

A&Eiraqi said...

Dear Annon
I agree that maybe he is not brave enough to hurt her more by breaking up, still that could destroy her and her family which is not easy at all.

For awhile I was going to say that it's unfair considering this girl just weak and without dignity as she is going on, as I belive she is doing so for two main causes; the first one is saving her family which will be ashamed by this break up, the second thing is the love inside her which still persists so she would keep up her hope getting him back.

Well; in a second thought and after having a very strong discussion with someone wise enogh, I realized many things;
We're ignoring that this girl knows that guy very well and as she trusted him once to be her husband , then she would think differently; in our culture at least; family life(marriage) is not only about pre-marriage love; it's more about mantianing the life and going on in their life!
Maybe this doesn't make sense to you; but it does for many people.

Maybe you're right; the guy will feel guilty, realize how good she is and no one could have what made him attracted to her once.

Let's not forget the fact that there was love between them.

Let's see what happens

Tara said...

اعتقد هاي البنية متكتكة و تريد تتزوج بأي طريقة
بسبب ازمة العرسان هالايام أو لان الولد لقطة و ميتفوَت
بس من ناحية انها تحبه فما داأتخيل وحدة تحب واحد و هو يعاملها بهالاسلوب الناشف
أني اشوف انو المرة تحب حب الرجل لها و كلامه و نظرته لها
و تحس بهاي الاشياء و لما تحس انها مهملة الحب حيخف و يروح ويصير الزواج مجرد مشروع لازم تنجح بيه لاسباب اجتماعية او مادية او اي شي بس مو الحب

A&Eiraqi said...

Dear Tara
Not sure if you've read the oldest post about this story.
It's possible that this girl being forced to go one in this rlationship for the pride of her family.
Still; nothing could force her to show how much she loves him as that wouldn't help at all.

I've said that; it's possible that love doesn't keep persisting later on but many things make the family relationship goes on.