Restart

I'm packing at the moment; I've got a great opportunity to do two years of a training post in the second biggest city in England (Manchester). I should be starting in a week time.

Everyone congratulated me when heard about it, it simply means that I'll be doing the same as every junior doctor graduated from U.K, and after the two years I'll be able to apply for further training which is really my dream. To make the long story short; this is what I was dreaming about.

Two years is equal to what I've spent in U.K until now, it means a good time to work hard and improve my knowledge and skills.
Everyone is telling me that Manchester is cheaper; people are nice, still cosmopolitan, and major city. Lots of dreams, plans are waiting to be achieved.

I'm lucky, I thank Allah 100s of times everyday for what the Almighty have given me, I'm going in the right direction and getting what I'm looking for, no one of my friends have got what I had.

Ok, let me be honest; I don't want to go
Stupid, ridiculous, idiot, arrogant, or whatever you want to say;
I know, but please try to get my point.

It's another new life; I was never lucky with a new life; it took me about three years to accept the fact that I left Basra and go on with my life in Baghdad, and after two years of living in UK, I still feel like living in Baghdad not anywhere else.
It's not about what I've got where I'm living; I've got nothing, but I don't want to start a new life, I don't want to meet people, get friends, and then to wave good bye.
I just don't want to suffer.
I remember when I first arrived to where I'm living now about 15 months ago, I had no body to talk to, but there was an Iraqi shop, few Arabs, I went to my consultant saying "Please, I don't want to go back to the horrible town I was living before".

For 15 months I got used to my surrounding, I'll never be in love with it, but I got used to it.
Should I start again? Sit lonely in my room again, walk around lonely, talk to myself, do nothing but wait to finish it, or should try to get used to it till the two years end and then will have to start again somewhere else.
I think this is a particular problem to all doctors in UK, they never settle.

OK, whether I like it or not I'm going there, I've got to go, two years of loneliness, two years of pain, two years of desperation, it’s just two years, so what?

In those two years I'll try to get a completely different attitude, I close my door and try not to socialize, it's much better than having a painful farewell.

One day I'll go back to Iraq and forget all this waste of time.

The Halal's delusions

"So, you don't eat from McDonald's, you've never tried Burger king or any
Of these ones, what do you eat?"

That was my father mocking at me when I told him that I don't eat but Halal food.
He didn't imagine that I don't buy meat from supermarkets, don't eat from the famous take away restaurants or anywhere unless I read the word Halal written somewhere...

This is a particularly interesting subject to me as I feel torn about it; I myself don't believe in the concept of Halal food, yet I can't eat anything else.

For those who don't understand what I'm talking about, Halal is a term used to describe whatever permitted in Islam, the term has been used by people to describe the meat that was slaughtered according to the Islamic way.

I couldn't find anything about Halal food in the Holly Qura'n or the history of Islam.
Thinking further; in case Muslims used to eat their own meat slaughtered by them, how about the ones who used to travel? Did they used to be vegetarian?!

Thinking that way, I decided about 18 months ago that as soon as I leave London, I would start eat every type of meat regardless it's Halal or not.
And truly the place I lived in was pure English where you can't find any Halal meat, I went to the closest supermarket, but simply couldn't buy the meat, I realized that there is some sort of phobia which I'm unable to control, I spent two moths eating fish and vegetables and tasting meat only when invited to the consultant's house.
Well; it didn't last long and soon as I changed my place I got a place where I can buy Halal meat.
The only point to support the matter of Halal food is t e fact that; some of the animals are being strangulated rather than slaughtered which is not allowed in Islam.


With the time going I realized that the word itself is a source of profit; it's enough to write it on the front door of your shop, and you'll attract all the Muslims to buy from you. And strangely I found that in most of the cities I visited in Europe.

I'm sure that eating meat is not something Allah would punish us for, I'm 90% confident that the whole matter of Halal food is hoax, yet, I'm unable to put anything else in my mouth; it's probably the Halal's delusions.
What do you think?
The photo above is from Venice.

With them again

I kept looking at her while she was trying to find the bored and check when my flight would arrive.
I've just arrived yesterday from my annual leave; I went to Gulf where my family is being gathered at the moment, they were the best days I had for a long time; I enjoyed every second, and do regret coming back, yet, I had to or as it was described by someone; it's for my future.

I did my best not to waste the time; left work at 06:30 p.m to be at the airport by 08:00 p.m and flying by 10:30p.m; that meant being with them as early as possible.


As soon as we arrived to our house; I met my two sisters and my grandfather; the family is together again, what a fun, I can't describe how happy I was, I really miss that moment.


We did everything together, we went for shopping, we visited our friends and we sat together on one table to eat: I've been eating lonely for a long time.

Well; my parents daily arguments were part of the fun we were having, everyday the used to argue about something new, and trying to find a different reason for the next day argument, the first argument was about their wedding 30 years ago and the very last one was about who had the chance to spend more time with me!!

Going out with my mother and sisters was more than great, it's just very warm to feel being with them.

And fun started when we went skiing; a very little girl looked at me asking "Don't you know how to ski?" "Of course I do", I immediately replied; she saw me about to fall six times after that chat.


A couple of days later we went to the fun land, while taking the shaking flying chairs, it suddenly stopped!! "Excuse me; are you scared?!" the rude operator stopped the game and was directing his question to me, "No, I'm not" I replied with frustration to his impolite question, "Look, in case you're scared, I can stop shaking your chair and make it just flying not going up and down", "Yes, please do it" was my sister's reply. I wasn't scared at all, but that rude guy noticed that I was holding the handle very tightly and putting my head down, fixing it by my arm while my eyes were closed, later on my mother told me that it was very funny that only my chair was fixed!!

Just one day before flying back we had a special visit from our dearest friends in Saudi Arabia, we had a wonderful time together and everyone enjoyed my mother special dishes.

I'm really unable to express how I felt; it was more than a great time, I noticed how my father was behaving.

We went to buy special sweet (Halawa) when he spoke to the guy saying "look, this my son, he is a doctor, he works in England, he will take those sweat with him, so we want something special with extra nuts".
The same words were told to the butcher, the grocer and to everyone he met, it was the first time I saw him not able to control his emotions, he is probably getting old.

And just on our way to the airport, I listened to his words, few words which made my year……

"Dear son….. I want you to know that your mother and I have got no one to rely on but Allah and you, I'm quite happy with your hard work and I'm really satisfy about you but……never hesitate to help people, whenever you do, Allah will pay you back.

I want you to learn as much as possible and to be in love with science, try to read as much as possible, you're not expected to write a research now but you can read one.
As much as you work hard as much as you get more knowledge and always remember what Immam Shafi said:
كلما أدبني الدهر أراني ضعف عقلي...........وكلما زادني علما" زادني علما" بجهلي
Whenever life taught me it showed how little my brain is and whenever it tried to improve my knowledge it tells how ignorant I was.

I want you to treat every patient you get with honor, never ever forget that you're a doctor and have got a great mission in your life.
And please; give my regards to Dr. M, tell her that we're unable to pay her back for what she did with you, but Allah will do, the almighty always does."

His words were the best I heard in my life; it's always my dream to get my parents satisfaction, I know that I've got to work hard to maintain what I've got.

Those days were brilliant, and yet…I'm back …..Waiting to see them again…..maybe in a year time…..Oh my God